About

What Do You Want To Be?

I have three kids: a beautiful, intelligent daughter and two crazy boys. Those kids are the reason I wake up in the morning. Why? You’d probably guess that I’m eager to mold these impressionable young minds into wonderful, productive adults, but that’s not really it. I get out of bed just so I can witness the insane things they conjure up during the course of the day. Maybe today they’ll color on the dog with markers. Maybe one of them will go fishing in the toilet. Maybe they’ll invent a new super hero that wears a dog costume, one green lizard rain boot, a cape, and wields a piece of Hot Wheels racetrack as a weapon.

There’s something about their insanity that tells me they’re brilliant; they’re not like other kids because they think outside the box. I can tell by the way other kids stare at them as they play at the park… but maybe those kids aren’t staring because they’re impressed, maybe they’re bewildered.

Sitting around the dinner table one night, my wife asked my then-three-year-old son, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I was excited to hear his answer. I was hoping for something really interesting, like an explorer or astronaut or scientist.

His response? “I want to be a hammer.”

What I Want To Be

When I was three, I probably would have said He-Man or the Lone Ranger, but if you ask me now what I want to be, it’s simply this: A Good Man. As I look at the world around me, all I see is hurting and lost people. People that have been mistreated, and people who mistreat others. I can’t help everyone, but I want to be an agent of change, even if it’s just for a few lives.

I’ve worked with teenagers for more than a decade, and almost every girl that I’ve ever had a deep, serious conversation with can tell me a story of being physically, emotionally, or sexually abused. And I fear that the ones who haven’t experienced that kind of mistreatment just haven’t lived long enough.

On the other hand, guys… well, I know guys because I am one, plus I’ve been known to hang out with them (maybe you do, too). If you do, you know that underneath the rowdy, tough bravado most of us are masking insecurity and fear… either that or we’re just a bunch of jerks.

I think the root of the problem is that many of us are unfulfilled, living life without passion or purpose. We don’t know who we are or where we’re going. Men need direction, we need a mission.

The Measure of a Man

I have a vision of a Man, a mature male, that uses his strengths for the benefit of others, not himself. A Man that is a guardian of the valuable gifts in his life, a protector of the weak, and enemy of those who harm others. I think that we’ve been gifted with strong bodies and the will to fight, but not for ourselves, but for those who need us.

I’m not this person, but this is who I want to be. Ultimately that’s what I write about, my exploration and (re)discovery of Manhood. I still wrestle with the exact definition of masculinity, as well as how to live out those principles.

If you’ve read this far, I bet you’ve been wrestling with some of these issues yourself. There is a world out there that needs real Men to step up. Will you join me on this journey?

About Me

Hi. I’m John. I’m a 31 year old husband, father, youth worker, and soldier from a large city in the Midwestern US.

• I drive a twelve year old car with a dented fender, but if you ask, I’ll be quick to tell you that I didn’t put it there.
• You might be able to run faster than me, but I’m confident that I can do more sit-ups than you.
• I look good in a suit, but I’d rather wear a pocket T shirt and jeans.
• I’ve been told I look like Brock Lesnar, but I’m pretty sure that guy was hitting on me.
• I’m a terrible haggler. The first car my wife and I bought together was the first car at the first lot we visited.

Want to know more? Send your questions to john # themancraftguide.com, or follow me on Twitter: JohnRegan3. And, of course you can follow The Mancraft Guide while you’re at it.